Dear Procrastination

Dear Procrastination,

This is difficult for me to write. We’ve had such good times together over the years, and I will cherish those memories always. But we have come to a point in our lives in which we want different things. I’ve tried to work this out with you in the past, but you are just too good at avoiding uncomfortable situations. So I am just going to put this out there.

We’re through. I can’t go on this way. You are wreaking havoc on my daily life, and it’s not okay. Night after night, you convince me that it is perfectly acceptable to stay up until 4 o’clock in the morning, that sleep is secondary to Twitter and Youtube. I have allowed damnyouautocorrect.com and my PVR to keep me from completing important tasks, like sending out resumes, because of you. I mean, who needs a job?

Just yesterday, you allowed me to put off eating ALL day, so that I could play The Sims 3. You have told me that it was okay to put off paying my phone bill until the following month (I have the disconnection notice to prove it). You said that it wouldn’t hurt to skip a shower for one morning, since I didn’t have anything important going on. Having troll hair is never okay, under any circumstance...

The fact that I am sitting here writing you this letter instead of reading Born Wicked is a testament to the power that you have over me. We just can’t continue like this, so I am leaving you. And I don’t mean leaving you in a “I’m-disappearing-to-Italy-to-expose-myself-to-the-world” way (because that worked out so well). I mean “ending-of-Tempest” leaving. From this point on, you won’t even know my name.

I’ll miss you, but this is for the best.

Yours truly,